Mid June, Demelza

[saumensch]

It's been a few months now, and Liesel feels like she's finally starting to settle into this city. When she'd first arrived on Himmel Street it had taken a while to get used to things, until suddenly it felt like home. It sneaked up on her, surprising her with how suddenly Mama and Papa felt like family, with how quickly Rudy wriggled his way into her graces and refused to let go. She hadn't wanted to like it at first, but in the end she hadn't really had much choice in the matter.

Darrow was a little like that, too. It's even more different than Molching had been, and there are days where she doesn't think she'll ever really understand it, but there are plenty of good things, too. There are people here who are very nice to her though she can't always tell why, and there are lots of books to read and the weather is truly lovely. She doesn't like school too much but she's managed to keep a low enough profile that nobody really bothers her that much, and at the end of the day she gets to come home to Green Gardens and read with Saoirse, or cook with Greta in the kitchen. Then there's the magic, which Liesel thinks has to be her favourite part. She's watched Baz and Simon do magic before, but even that hadn't been as delightful as floating around in the park last month.

The more comfortable she gets, the bolder she gets. There aren't too many rules at Green Gardens besides the obvious, and for the most part Liesel is left to her own devices. She's been in the library reading, and it's a long time before she realises that the sun has long sunk below the horizon and everybody else has gone to their rooms to sleep for the night. She packs away her books, putting the ones she'd borrowed back on the shelf where they belong, and starts to pad back through the halls, grateful that she's wearing socks and no shoes.

It's when she passes the kitchen that her stomach grumbles and Liesel realises that she must have missed dinner. If she were at home, Mama would have scolded her and told her that she would have to go to bed with no supper, but Liesel isn't going to be put off that easily. She's learned her way around the kitchens a little better since her lessons with Greta, so she looks each way quickly to make sure she's not seen before she slips inside and shuts the door behind her. Once she's alone in the kitchen, she's struck by how much choice she has. She's still getting used to how plentiful food is in Darrow, how many things beside pea soup there is to eat. She can hardly choose where to start, turning around slowly in the kitchen as her hands hover over each of the cupboard doors.

There's a noise in the hall outside, and Liesel knows the jig is up a second before the door opens, but she's reasonably confident she won't get in too much trouble. At the most she'll be sent off to bed and told not to wander, but she's already slipped two cookies into her dress pocket in case.

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[letitbetrue]

By now most of the children are in bed, though some of the older ones are still in the common room, watching television or doing their school work, and Green Gardens, at this time, is quite quiet. Demelza is almost finished for the evening and she's sure if Simon or Baz were to find her at this point, they would usher her off, insisting there's nothing so pressing for her to do that it can't be left until morning.

But she has one more load of washing to transfer to the dryer and a few towels to fold before she feels comfortable leaving, and she heads into the kitchen, humming softly under her breath, then nearly lets out a little shriek.

"Judas," she breathes a moment later, her palm pressed to her chest and a laugh bubbling out of her. There's a girl standing there, one she recognizes, though whose name she hasn't learned yet, and Demelza hadn't expected to see her there, had expected to be entirely alone. "You startled me."

She's hardly angry, though, the soft laugh dying away as she comes into the kitchen, lips still curved into a smile. "Did 'ee need something to eat?" she asks. "I can find you something already made so we don't have to make too much of a mess. How does that sound?"

[saumensch]

Liesel turns when she hears the voice, knowing she's been caught. She recognises the woman who finds her, has seen her around Green Gardens a little, but they haven't met before. She doesn't seem too angry though, despite the odd curse word she uses.

"Sorry," she says as she walks into the room, though she smiles and laughs and Liesel finds herself smiling in response. She's not in trouble and she would't have minded all that much if she was, in truth, but she's still a little relieved. For all that she sometimes flouts the rules, she doesn't want to be kicked out of Green Gardens. The other children's home was fine, but it's nothing compared to this place, and Liesel doesn't want to go back there.

"I was just looking around," she lies, but then her stomach growls again loudly and catches her out. Liesel looks at her shoes a little sheepishly before she glances up again. "I missed supper."

[letitbetrue]

"Sorry for what?" Demelza asks. "Tis your home, is it not?"

That's how she wants the children here to think of this place and she's sure that's how Baz and Simon would like for them to think of it, too. They've created this place to be an alternative to the home that already exists and Demelza doesn't fault the folks who run that place, they're only doing what they've been instructed to by the government, but she finds Green Gardens to be much nicer and she's certain that is exactly what Baz and Simon are hoping to achieve.

This is their home. And that means they can wander around in the kitchen whenever they like, just like Julia and Jeremy will once they're old enough.

"Come and sit," she invites. "I'll find 'ee something to eat. My name is Demelza, I don't think we've met officially yet, have we?"

[saumensch]

It's where she lives, but Liesel isn't sure she'd call it home yet. Home is still Himmel Street, even if it doesn't exist anymore. Home is anywhere that she could sit at the kitchen table with Papa across from her, playing accordion with a cigarette dangling from his lips that she helped him roll. She doesn't know if she'll ever have home again, though she does appreciate everything Baz and Simon have done for her.

"It's Baz and Simon's home," she says before she can stop herself. She knows it's not the answer that Demelza was looking for, though she can't see why it should matter. She's very grateful that Baz and Simon have opened up their home to her and all the other children, but she still feels a little like she's walking around unsure of what she's allowed to do, where she's allowed to go.

Some days she can't help but wonder if she'll get sent back to the other home for children, if they'll decide that this one isn't working out how they might have liked. She'd been worried about that back in Molching, that the Hubermanns would decide they didn't want her just as she started to get used to them.

Still, she goes and sits at the table, kicking her legs underneath. "I'm Liesel," she introduces herself as she watches Demelza move about. "I've seen you here sometimes."

[letitbetrue]

As she moves toward the ice box, Demelza casts a smile over her shoulder and says, "And they want for it to be yours as well."

It's not that easy, she's well aware of that, but she's quiet for a moment as she finds some cold chicken in the refrigerator, as well as lettuce and tomato and cucumber, then begins to prepare Liesel a nice sandwich that will ease her stomach pains and take her through the night. There are some biscuits as well and Demelza adds them to the plate, which she carries to Liesel along with a tall glass of milk.

"But I d'know how hard it can be to make yourself a new home," she admits finally, setting the food and milk down in front of the girl and then taking a seat across from her, snagging one of the biscuits for herself with a small smile. "When I were sixteen, I left my home and though it were for the best, twas all I'd ever known until then. I was taken in by a very kind man, though he didn't seem too terribly kind at first, and it was very difficult, trying to settle into a new life, trying to understand where I could go and where I could not."

Even once they'd been married, Demelza had struggled with that. She'd gone from scullery maid to lady of the house overnight and had no idea how to process such a thing. For months following the wedding, she'd still acted more Ross' kitchen girl than his wife. With obvious exceptions.

[saumensch]

Liesel knows from being in Darrow this long that the food here is sometimes beyond anything she can dream up. The sandwich Demelza puts together is built from leftovers found in the fridge at a moment's notice, but it's still far better than anything Liesel got to eat back home. She tugs the plate towards her and picks it up in both hands, taking an eager bite. If Mama could see how spoiled she's been getting with all this food, she wouldn't believe her eyes. Liesel can't remember the last time she ate boring pea soup; she thinks she might never again.

"Thank you," she says after a moment, remembering her manners two or three bites later. She takes a swallow of milk, wiping at her upper lip and listening to Demelza talk. Her story sounds very much like when Liesel first arrived on Himmel Street, and she's interested. People in Darrow come from all sorts of places, and she's met a few people who understand her a little, but she appreciates Demelza telling her all of this.

Sixteen is older than Liesel, and she's still not sure that her first Mama giving her away was for the best, but she knows it had been all there was. "My new Papa was kind," she says after a moment, considering. "But Mama had a temper." She says it with a wry smile, ducking her head. "She called me saumensch more than she called me Liesel, but that was just how she was."

[letitbetrue]

"I didn't get a new mama or papa," Demelza admits, looking down and hiding a little smile. "But I did end up marrying the man I was working for, so twas still all for the best in the end. I got a new family all the same, as he had a wonderful cousin who then became mine and I made dear friends of the folks he already knew."

Not all of them, of course. She had tried so hard, but there were those who just wouldn't accept her as she was, a scullery maid who thought too highly of herself, someone who stepped beyond her station in life, beyond where she was supposed to be. But some of the people Ross knew had been so good to her and even the miners had readily and happily accepted one of their own as the new mistress of Ross' land. Sometimes she thinks she's the one who helped bridge the gap between the rich and poor, but she knows Ross has always been good to his workers, always in the mine with them, getting his hands dirty as no other mine owner had ever done.

"Saumensch," she echoes thoughtfully. Ross might have known what the word meant or, at the very least, which language it was, but Demelza isn't nearly as educated as her husband and there are those who would say she barely knows how to speak English. "What does that mean? I'm that sorry, I only just know English."

[saumensch]

She has an odd way of speaking sometimes, but Liesel has a tendency to slip into German when she's not thinking about it properly, so she isn't one to talk. She finds it interesting more than anything. She's been lucky that there are a couple of people, like Solo and Marius, who understand her even when her language lapses.

"It's German," she says, giving Demelza a bright smile. There are some people here who don't even know where Germany is, which still seems a little funny to Liesel. "It's not a very nice name for a girl," she laughs, her eyes sparking a little. She knows Mama had meant it as a term of endearment more than anything in the end, and Rudy had come to call her that, too. She feels a little cheeky explaining it now though, without any of that hidden affection behind it. "I think the English for it is girl pig," she considers, wrinkling her nose.

Liesel takes another bite of her sandwich, thinking on it. There are days she still struggles a little with English, so she doesn't think Demelza only knowing it is something to be embarrassed about. She remembers the way kids back home had laughed at her when she first got to school, unable to read or write. It hadn't meant she was stupid, she just hadn't been taught before.

[letitbetrue]

It may not be a very polite name to call her, but Liesel doesn't seem to mind it terribly and so Demelza laughs softly, looking amused. And Judas knows she'd been called far more terrible names by her own father, the sorts of cruel insults she'd hardly even want to hurl at her worst enemy.

Well, perhaps George Warleggan would deserve such cruelty, but few other people.

"I've heard very little German," she admits, very interested in different languages, though she still sometimes struggles with her letters in English. The words of other languages sound strange and magical and romantic to her and she doesn't think she'll ever be able to learn them for herself, no matter how hard she might try. "Do 'ee speak it fluently? When I came to live with Ross, that's my husband, I didn't even know how to read or write my letters, but I learned with his help and it's gotten even better here, but I shall always be better at math. Numbers make sense to be sometimes when letters don't. I must doubt I could ever learn another language."

[saumensch]

"Ja," Liesel answers, nodding her head. "It was the only thing I could speak, before I came here and everybody spoke English."

There are still days that she accidentally defaults to her native tongue, not entirely comfortable with all of the English words, but she's learning more the longer she stays here. Nobody has made fun of her and everybody she knows seems to want to go out of their way to help her adjust to the city. She's been lucky, she knows, but then Liesel had gotten relatively lucky back home, too. She's starting to get better at spotting it when it happens.

It's funny she thinks, how opposite they are. Words make sense to Liesel in a way that nothing else does, but numbers can leave her blank. Kids at school had laughed at her in the beginning when she didn't know how to read or write, but as soon as she grasped the basics, she left them behind in the dust. Not so with math. "I struggle with numbers a little," she admits, shaking her head. "Papa taught me how to read and write when I was very young, and we practised all the time." She thinks of her old basement, covered in painted words and the alphabet. Maybe Demelza needs somebody to teach her the way Papa did.

[letitbetrue]

"Well, if you ever find 'ee need help with your numbers, I'd be that happy to help you," Demelza offers and it isn't even because she works here that she thinks to suggest it. Helping people, especially children, is one of her greatest desires, one of the things that makes her feel most accomplished. It will be good practice, too, she believes, for when she must help Jeremy and Julia with their homework.

"Or if 'ee need another dinner when you've missed the meal with the others," she teases. "And perhaps you can show me how better to do my letters."

Demelza isn't so proud a person that she wouldn't learn from a child. She's of the mind, in fact, that children know much more than many adults and that there is plenty to be learned from them if only people would listen.