debut - nicaise 6/3

[saumensch]

The sky is crying ashen snowflakes that burn a little when they touch skin. It’s fitting that it should be. The world has ended and the sky knows it. It drops the snowflakes to the ground where they mingle with the ash and dirt that is now all that’s left of a street once named after Heaven.

They’d said the basement was too shallow. It hadn’t passed the inspection but this time it does enough. While the rest of Himmel Street sleeps and dies, a fourteen year old girl is in the basement, fallen asleep sprawled against dust sheets, paint tins and words. The pages are neatly printed and completed, her whole life painstakingly written out in pencil. Liesel has fallen asleep on the book. The bombs fall and the earth is shattered apart, and in seconds 33 Himmel Street is a pile of rubble instead of a home.

She wakes and she thinks, for a moment, that she’ll suffocate and die down here, amongst the words and the broken section of wall with a painted sun on it. Max drew that, she thinks. Max drew it without having seen the real sun in years and now it’s broken. Slowly, she realises what has happened, why the basement is suddenly collapsed in around her. The radio was sleeping just like everyone else when the warnings should have come, too little too late.

Papa.

She feels like the world is slipping away but she remembers silver eyes and an accordion, and she cries. Liesel cries until she hears voices, until the rubble shifts and strong hands pull her up and out. Hot air and a red sky greet her and Liesel screams in earnest seeing the wreckage around her. Papa. She beats at the LSE worker trying to calm her, small fists flying. She needs to see him. He’ll be sitting at the kitchen table, rolling a cigarette, and he’ll look up at her and wink and her nightmares will be chased away.

Only there is no kitchen table anymore.

“Is this still Himmel Street?” she asks the man once she catches her breath. He nods and says sorry, but she’s already stopped listening to him.

“We have to get my papa,” she says, the words insistent. “And mama. We have to get Max out of the basement. If he’s not there he’s in the hallway, looking out the window. He does that sometimes when there’s a raid - he doesn’t get to look much at the sky, you see. I have to tell him how the weather looks now. He’ll never believe me…”

The LSE man reaches for her at the same time as her knees buckle and she slides to the ground, like all of her energy has been taken on those words. She feels the numbness sliding over her as her brain refuses to acknowledge what’s happened, even with the word bomb ringing in her ears.

Her hands sting and she looks down, sees the book still clutched tightly in her fingers. The words. She still has the words that saved her.

Liesel closes her eyes, lets the LSE man drift away. The ground is moving beneath her, a gentle rocking motion, like it’s trying to soothe her. But when she opens her eyes it’s not the ground that rocks her but a train.

She turns to her side and she can see Werner, one eye closed, the other open and staring. He’s sprawled across the seat next to her, just like she remembers. It’s a dream, she thinks. A nightmare. This particular nightmare hasn’t plagued her since she forgave Frau Hermann on the steps of the mayor’s house but it’s here now, vivid as it was when it happened for real.

Liesel tears her eyes away from the vision of her brother long enough to look out the window. The train is slowing, pulling into the station. Into Molching, where Mama and Papa will be waiting. Papa will play the accordion and Liesel will roll him a cigarette and the rubble of Himmel Street will just be a new nightmare. The train stops, and Liesel reaches under the seat to grab hold of her small suitcase, her few precious belongings. She pulls it out and it’s not her suitcase, but Papa’s accordion case. It’s broken, blown apart with the instrument peeking through from the inside.

Taking it tightly in hand, Liesel looks one more time for Werner but he’s gone again, buried in snow. She whispers a quick goodbye, more than she ever got to say last time, and moves to get off the train.

The cold when the doors open is familiar, but that’s where the similarities stop. This isn’t Molching, it can’t be. The streets are much too busy and the buildings too unusual. No one pays her any attention as she steps off the train, eyes wide, face still covered in streaks of ash. Liesel steps onto the platform, the broken accordion case glued to the fingers of one hand, her book in the other.

“Papa?” she calls, looking around for his tall frame, his silver eyes. She looks for Rudy, for lemon-coloured hair and an impertinent grin, or Max, with a head of feathers. She doesn’t see any of them, nor does she recognise anybody who walks past.

“Wie bitte?” she asks, tucking her still-warm book under her arm and tugging on the coat of a person standing nearby. “Can you help me?”

Comments

[handfulofsapphires]

Laurent was busy with Damianos and as usual Nicaise was supposed to stay in the apartment, but he had decided to take Toulouse for a walk instead. It was a cold day, though nothing so unbearable, and he had dressed Toulouse for the occasion.

The walk had taken him to the train station. Sometimes he liked to watch the metal caravan come and go, yet another thing about this place that was so far removed from the one he'd come from. When he paused to let Toulouse smell a small boxed-in tree along side of the platform he felt someone tug at his coat sleeve, a female voice asking for help.

Nicaise turned. A girl his age stood there, her face dirty and covered in soot. She was dressed in ratty clothes, but it was her wide, blue eyes that drew his attention. They had a haunted look to them. She wasn't from here, she must have shown up just like he had.

"Did you just get here?" he asked in case he was wrong.

[saumensch]

He doesn't speak like anyone on Himmel Street, his accent a little off. It's not like anything she's ever heard before, and if she didn't know she was somewhere wrong before, she does now. This definitely isn't Molching, but she has no idea where here is.

The boy who talks to her doesn't look like anyone she recognise, for more than one reason. For starters, he's clean, cleaner than she thinks she's ever seen anyone. Mama makes Liesel bathe more often than some of the boys in the street, but even she has never gotten that clean and well-presented. And he has a dog, which Liesel looks at warily. It certainly doesn't look like it could hurt her, but Liesel has never really met any other dogs. She tucks her hands into her coat to keep them away from sharp teeth.

"Yes," she says, thought it should be obvious. She's just stepped off a train, of course she just got here. She wants to ask him if he's seen her Papa, but he probably wouldn't know who he is. Instead, she tucks her book closer to her chest and eyes him. She doesn't bother to rub any of the soot from her face, almost daring him to call her on it. "The train brought me here."

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise had heard of the train bringing people from other worlds. He wondered why it hadn't brought him, though he'd shown up on the platform all the same. In Vere one moment, here in the next. He remembered how lost he'd felt, how helpless, and he'd been sent straight to the children's home. The girl couldn't be much older than him, if at all, and they'd do the same to her if she was alone.

"The train brought you to a city called Darrow with a sort of magic. There's a lot to explain," he said haltingly. He glanced around, as if someone would be waiting to whisk her away in a taxi. She didn't come as ill prepared as he had, in nothing more than a shift, but she still stood out.

"If you like, there's a cafe up the street. I can tell you what I know," he said. "But first they will have a packet for you at that booth." He pointed over to it at the other end of the platform.

[saumensch]

She's never heard of a place called Darrow. She says the name over in her head a couple of times - Darrow, Darrow, Darrow - and if she were home, she might have painted it up on the wall next to Max's dripping sun. It feels unusual in her mouth, not a word she's ever rolled off her tongue before and she finds the corners of her mouth twisting up the tiniest bit despite herself.

He keeps looking around like he's looking for something, maybe someone. And he looks a little like Rudy does when they're stealing, all quick darting glances like they're being watched. She hasn't done anything wrong except get off the train in the wrong place, so she doesn't know what he's being so paranoid about.

"Packet?" she echoes, following the line of his finger to the booth. No one had given her any kind of packet when she arrived in Molching. All she had was the clothes on her back and the few possessions she carried in her suitcase, but now she carries even less. Just her book and Papa's accordion, all that's left to her. "What kind of packet?"

There's a grown up sitting behind the booth and Liesel is sure she hasn't done anything to be in trouble for but she still feels on edge. Years ago she'd wanted to run away and the only reason she changed her mind is because of Papa, because of Mama and Rudy and Max. But all of them are dead and there's no reason not to run away anymore. She flicks her eyes back to the boy; he's thin and he doesn't look very tough. She could probably shove him and run, she thinks, get out of here before any more adults find her.

But she is curious. "What things do you know?" she asks, lifting her chin a little, challenging him.

[handfulofsapphires]

"I know just about everything," Nicaise said, concern turning to offense that she would doubt his word. His brow furrowed and his mouth set in its usual frown. "I've been here for over a month. I know what's in that packet, it's an ID card, a map, some money. I know they will make you live at the children's home unless you've got family here to take care of you instead. And I know that it's terrible there."

He knew more; where the grocery store was, how to get a taxi, how to use a cell phone. But these things she might have already known from the world she'd come from. All he could tell was that he was certain she wasn't from Vere. Her clothing, while not that strange by Darrow's standards, was like nothing from his home, and her accent wasn't one he had ever heard, not even from Darrow.

She looked dirty, impoverished, and that was something he knew, too.

[saumensch]

Liesel scoffs a little at that. Now he does sound like Rudy, though he would never frown like that. Her eyes flick over to the booth again, though the packet sounds more than a little scary. She wouldn't know what to do with any of the things he's mentioned, and she doesn't want to look stupid in front of him.

"I don't have a family," she says, the truth of it sitting like a solid weight in her stomach. Any family she's ever had has been taken from her, regardless of this place. She doesn't know what the children's home is but it doesn't sound good, with the way he talks. Liesel has no intention of letting anyone take her anywhere she doesn't want to go, so it won't matter. She'll run away before that happens.

Liesel frowns, her brow furrowing. "I'll run away," she declares, and she means it as strongly as she did when she first said it about Himmel Street. There's no Papa here to make her change her mind this time.

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise nodded. He had tried to run away from the children's home at one point, but it had been cold and everything had felt so foreign to him that he'd been cowardly and gone back. They hadn't even noticed he'd been out. Perhaps she would have better luck with it.

"I don't have family, either. Someone I knew from my world took me in." Toulouse sniffed curiously at the girl's feet and Nicaise went quiet, remembering how it was to show up here, remembering the children's home. She said she'd run away, but he still felt like he ought to do something. It wasn't charity, but born of a feeling of kinship. Nicaise didn't often feel a softness for others, but he couldn't let her go off on her own. "You should come to my apartment. You could have a bath at least, and a sandwich."

[saumensch]

He nods like it's a perfectly reasonable reaction. Liesel is reminded of Rudy, of how simply he asked when she planned on it so that he could join her. He never tried to talk her out of it, and it doesn't sound like he has any plans to.

She doesn't think there will be anyone from home to take her in, though. Maybe he's gotten lucky, but luck gave up on Liesel a long time ago. She thinks of Papa's still face, silver eyes closed against the ash and soot that was Himmel Street, and tries not to cry. She doesn't know this boy and she's not about to let him think she's some stupid little girl.

"I'm Liesel," she says, because he probably deserves her name. He's offering her food and a bath which is more than Liesel has ever really had extended to her. She's tentative about taking him up on his offer; it sounds an awful lot like trusting him and Liesel's not sure she ever wants to trust anyone again, but the rumbling in her stomach speaks for her in the end. "A sandwich?" she echoes, hopeful.

[handfulofsapphires]

"I'm Nicaise, and my dog is called Toulouse," he replied, though she didn't seem especially interested in the dog. That was alright, he wasn't interested in any dogs until he got Toulouse, and even then it had taken a little while.

"We have all sorts of food, come with me," Nicaise said decidedly, motioning for her to follow as he started for booth, taking her packet and offering it to her. He then started in the direction of Laurent's apartment. He felt easier somehow now that she seemed willing to come with him. He wasn't sure why he should care if a stranger accepted his help or not, but he didn't think the children's home would do a good job of cleaning her up. Not to mention, the food was unpalatable. "Many of the food items here were strange to me at first. Perhaps they won't be to you. You can even call someone on a cell phone and they will bring the food to your door."

[saumensch]

Liesel glances at the dog again, but she makes no move to go any closer. It's a small thing and it doesn't look terribly vicious but she doesn't know what to expect from it. Mama would have shooed it away, she thinks, and a small smile comes to her lips at the image.

She nods just barely and follows Nicaise wordlessly to the booth, letting him retrieve her packet and hand it over. Once it's in her hands she digs through the envelope, pulling out strange cards and odd money. There's a small black device in there too, which she pulls out and stares at blankly. It has buttons and she pushes a few of them idly, but it just seems to make a weird sound.

"What's this?" she asks, holding it up. One of the cards has her face on it which is weird, but maybe they got it from Frau Heinrich. Liesel doesn't care if the food is weird; she'll eat it until she's full and then she'll eat more, just because she can. She doesn't know what a cell phone is or who is supposed to deliver food all the way to her, but so long as they don't bring her pea soup, she'll be happy.

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise mistook the smile as a fondness for Toulouse and he smiled a little himself, pleased. Toulouse, he thought, was one of the few good things in this place. There were many things he disliked, and the weather was one of them. He never liked winters. Liesel had come dressed for it at least, even if her clothes looked a bit ragged.

He looked over at her question. "That's the cell phone to call for food. You can send messages on it, or talk to people who are far away. It's a marvel, really. I can show you how to use it when we get to my apartment," he said as they walked. It had taken him quite a lot of practice to understand the phone, and if she didn't know it either it would probably take just as long. Maybe more.

[saumensch]

Liesel doesn't know who she would talk to that's far away in this city. Maybe the phone will let her talk to Max, or Rudy, but she doesn't think that's how it works. "How far away?" she asks, and she doesn't say it but the meaning is clear. Can she talk to her family? Maybe she should just get back on the train and hope it takes her straight back to Molching. But this doesn't even seem like Germany anymore, so she's not so sure.

For now, she follows him to his apartment, stuffing the phone back into the envelope. The promise of food is too tempting, and she can always find her way back to the train station later.

"Did you bring your dog here?" she asks, curious. She's never known anyone who had a dog but he seems very fond of it. Maybe he brought it here with him on the train.

[handfulofsapphires]

Liesel's question gave him pause, only because that was the worst part. "Anywhere in the city. As far as any of us know, there's nothing beyond it. No one has been able to leave, not purposefully," he explained. And there he was torn, because he longed for his own world, but at the same time he knew there was nothing for him to go back to. Even if he hadn't been dead back there.

"No," he added, startled from his thoughts. He smiled faintly, like his face wasn't made for it. "My guardian bought him for me. I didn't want him at first, but he is a true friend."

[saumensch]

He quickly shuts down any hope she might have had of calling back home, but maybe that's a good thing. No one in Molching owns a cell phone, and even if they did there's no one there to pick up.

If she can't leave, she'll just have to work out how to live in this city. She's done it before, managed to re-mould her life around a new city and a new family. It hurts more this time, so much it makes her chest hurt, but she breathes in and tries not to let him see.

"You didn't want him?" The dog looks friendly enough and it follows after Nicaise like they're best friends. She can't imagine why he wouldn't want a dog as a present.

[handfulofsapphires]

If Nicaise noticed, he pretended not to. He knew well about hiding emotions, of needing to appear strong even when you felt at your weakest.

"I didn't want a dog at all, I didn't know what the point was. I've never had an animal before, not even a horse. I just thought they were smelly," Nicaise said, and he still thought they were. At least most of them. He gave Toulouse baths and had found that he didn't stink like the hunting hounds in Vere, or the dog event in the park.

"Have you had one?" he asked, and then motioned to the building they'd come to. "Here is my apartment, it's called High Gate Terrace. We'll have to take the elevator to the very top floor."

[saumensch]

"A horse!" she exclaims, laughter in her voice. No one had horses back home except for the occasional soldier who passed through. She suspects even that had been mostly for show. Everyone had moved quickly out of his way, so Liesel doesn't know whether horses smell bad or not.

She stops when they reach the building, tipping her head back to look at it. It's much taller than most of the buildings in Molching had been. The whole city is taller, she thinks. The roads are much busier too, the cars weird looking.

"I never had a pet," she tells him, shaking her head. "Mama would never allow a dog in the house." Not to mention the amount of money she expects they must cost. There had hardly been enough food to feed the three of them plus Max, let alone a dog. Liesel follows him into the building, pausing when they reach the elevator. She's never ridden in one before, and the top floor seems very high up.

[handfulofsapphires]

"What so funny about a horse?" Nicaise asked, a touch defensive. There weren't cars in his world, just horses to carry someone across far distances. He'd ridden them before, he'd just never had one that belonged to him. The Regent gifted him with other things.

Nicaise did not even pause outside the apartment, well used to it's height and strange look by now. He lead Liesel through the lobby and to the elevator, pressing the button to bring it down. The doors slid open and Nicaise went in, picking Toulouse up in case anyone joined them. He'd learned that not everyone appreciated having a small dog sniff around their legs. Once Liesel was inside he pushed the button for the top floor, the doors closing.

"My mother never would have allowed it, either," he said with a tiny smile. He tried not to think of her often, and his smile disappeared soon after. "Here it seems that people keep all sorts of animals. At the pet store they even had turtles you could buy."

[saumensch]

"I never met anyone who had a horse," she tells him, focusing on that instead of the way the elevator lurches and begins to move. She feels like the ground is shifting underneath her but she just grabs hold of the handrail along the wall and pays extra attention to Nicaise. "Except for the soldiers. But they weren't really pets."

She thinks she might like to see the pet store. There hadn't been one in Molching, but then she doesn't know anyone who could have afforded one except maybe the Hermanns. She doesn't think the Bürgermeister would allow pets either though. It might mess up his perfect house.

Eventually the elevator doors open and Liesel lets go of a breath, relaxing a little. "Are you sure they won't mind me being here, the person you live with?"

[handfulofsapphires]

Nicaise recognized how the elevator affected her. It had unsettled him, too, the first time he'd ridden in one, especially the way it made his stomach swoop when it first moved. He should have warned her, but, though it seemed impossible, the elevator had become routine for him now. Living on such a high level, he and Laurent never used the staircase. "The soldiers of my world used them, too. We didn't have cars, only horses and carts to carry us places," he added.

He stepped out of the elevator and gave her question some thought. "I don't know," he said honestly, unlocking the door and letting them in, unclipping Toulouse's leash and setting him on the floor. "If he disapproves we can come up with another plan. Or I could make you a bed in my closet and you could hide there."